One of the most common concerns about training and dream chasing. . . or lack thereof. . . is the essential, but limiting concern of having to take care of a family, to tend to your social circles, and to make time for those who are closest to you. All in simultaneous succession and balance.
As we all are human, we tend to swing between extremes.
We are either swallowed by the guilt-driven needs of others, inevitably losing ourselves. . . or we tend to ourselves to the point of hurting those that we love and care for. There is a limited time allotted in each day, and although it may be difficult to manage this time between personal and family life, it is possible with proper management. With three important principals:
The Communication Cliché Principal
Predominantly anyone that you converse with will agree that communication is at the top of the list of utmost importance within a relationship. So why do we tend to keep our thoughts and concerns locked up in opposition to this principal?
It is fear. The fear of experiencing or “dealing” with an argument, the fear of misunderstanding one another. Or an even more common case. . . it is a false expectation that our partner and family knows what we are thinking or feeling, that they think and feel the same way.
With training you have an obvious need for self-improvement, this need is driven by the positive results of an increase in happiness, confidence, knowledge, and physical results, but no one can assume the reasoning behind these needs unless they are verbalized. Becoming self-aware of your why becomes an essential part to this step. Communication is most effective when executed at the time of thought, and with the other party's possible concerns in mind; do not fear these concerns, address them with care.
Coming to an agreement and strategic plan should be the goal, and although this may not apply to all situations [as the unexpected happens every day] it is a standard for keeping healthy expectations within your family. Delaying the talk may lead to guilt, frustration, mistrust, and confusion. Think about the times that you finally expressed your feelings at the point of being done or of being frustrated; all at the brink of feeling finished.
Unsaid concerns become manifested in destructive ways, instead, we have the choice and liberating feeling of voicing ourselves to our partner, to our friends, and our family. Keep the unexpected in mind in extreme cases, tend to your social and family needs when critically important, and in other cases, take the plunge and personal opportunities that arise; keeping the agreements as the blueprint, but being flexible in extreme circumstances.
We may be moving in opposite directions without even knowing it, the sooner that these expectations are set by having a conversation, the sooner that you bring awareness to your personal status. From this, comes understanding.
The Principal and Understanding of Reoccurring Seasons
This is an in-depth look at the times where one aspect of your life will seem to become more important than another, it does not imply that one focus loses its importance, it simply means that the focus is temporarily shifted in a different direction.
Seasons rarely overlap and focus shifts, we have to understand this as deeply as our family and peers do. For those who have missed last week’s article, here is the in-depth look at the Principal of Reoccurring Seasons==> [HERE]
In conclusion to this point and for the sake of keeping this article down to a manageable read, understand that there’s a time where you will shift your focus to financial growth, emotional investment, intellectual growth, and other focus points throughout life such as training and physical improvement; an investment in health.
We often get stuck in constants, we are afraid to let go of routine, for our partners to outgrow us or for us to outgrow them. This is the true testament to how strong your bonds really are.
The Principle of Forward ThinkingOnce awareness is present and we begin to understand the workings of life and its seasons, the path ahead becomes much clearer. It’s time to eradicate the excuse of “I am being selfish” when it comes to self-improvement, regardless of whether it is through training, travel, or work. It is time to think forward. Here is an excerpt from the piece “The Exorcism of Excuse and Regret - World Travel”:
The important takeaway here is that your family’s understanding is their investment in your personal journey, once this season comes to a close and a time for review comes, the focus should switch back to how you can maintain training, and now provide your family with a new, well-improved version of your older self. To give back the same blessings you have received.
"Show your kids that the world is not limited to their neighborhood – it will teach them about the importance of accepting others who are different from them, to be well-conditioned out of their comfort zone. A sense of fulfillment comes from travel, it begins inside, but it is projected outwards to those around you. At the end of the day, there is no regret, no stone left unturned. There is no resentment towards others for limiting you. It is as if you want to show others the things you have been blessed to see and experience yourself. To give back the same blessings you have received.”
Managing training, dream chasing and passion amongst a healthy family life is one of the toughest obstacles that I myself, and my clients have come across. Having reached a new perspective, I can safely say that one compliments the other, and is only limiting if these precautionary steps are not taken.
Communicate, be aware of what stage of life you are in and what the focus should be, look forward, and invest in not only yourself, but in those around you.
This written piece has been inspired by a live conversation with Traveler, Entrepreneur and Fighter, Sean Fagan on the “Muay Thai Guys Podcast” Episode 59 [Hyperlink - http://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/c/7/1/c71771bff5eec317/TMTG_059__The_Principals_of_Family_Life__Training_Management.mp3?c_id=14330946&expiration=1488304260&hwt=ff6a260fc034ffcc1f6a323626786113]